WFMW: eh-hemm "Quality Time" with your man

Ok, so maybe this is a "Rated R" subject. And just as a side note, since my Grandpa reads my blog...Pop Pop you might want to skip this post! (Can we say "awkward"). ENNKNEEEWAY...

I've thought about this for a long time, and having been married over 10 years now, I'd consider myself experienced on the subject. Maybe not an expert, but nowadays marriages aren't really lasting as long as they used to--10 years might be pretty darn good enough experience to speak on the subject. So here's what were talking about ladies...SEX. Most women I talk to, well, lets just say it's not up there on the priority list. There are so many reasons to put off "Quality Time" with your man...what are your excuses? Are you allowing your long list of responsibilities to get in the way? OR maybe THIS is on you long list of responsibilities. Making love with your husband shouldn't be a responsibility you dread doing, it should be something that you look forward to.

In my experience, more "quality time" (sex) can mean the beginning of the end of disconnection in my marriage. Have you read the 5 Love Languages? I'm a big fan of this book by Gary Chapman. The basic jist is that we receive and give love in 5 different ways: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gifts, Words of Affirmation. In what ways do you feel the most loved? When someone gives you a hug? Invites you to dinner? A friend comes and helps you reorganize your kitchen? Or when someone tells you what a great mom you are? Maybe you feel the most cared about when you get an unexpected gift.

You may feel like your "love tank" is running on empty with regards to your husband, and many times just talking to him is a lost cause. Why? Well, just because he's a man. LOL The way to a man's heart, is not through his stomach as some may say, at least not my man.

I realized several years ago, that I can't change my hubby, however, I CAN change me. I can work on me. If I wanted my love tank to be filled by my husband, I need to fill his. I found that the more I initiated filling his love tank (physical touch-which we all know is most men's primary love language), the more he, without even realizing it, began to fill mine. I began to make making love a priority. At first, it was difficult, my pride in the whole initiating part got in the way. I realized though, the more I made myself available to my husband sexually, the more he made himself available to me emotionally. And the more I enjoyed and looked forward to that time together. Imagine that!

I have 4 children, 8,6,4, and 3 months old. In addition, I run my home and a small business from home, so believe me, I know how hard it can be to make yourself emotionally available for this. At first my goal was 3 x's a week...just so there was consistency. It was sort of an "experiment". Now, some weeks are less and some weeks are more. Aside from health related issues, my suggestion would be NO LESS than once a week (but that's just me). I'm so glad that I put this at the top of my list. Our marriage has never been better and my husband has never been more attentive. I thank God for giving me this insight into my own marriage.

So Having more Sex Works for Me. My challenge to you is to make an effort to work on YOU instead of trying to CHANGE Him. God gave us sex within marriage to bless us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Ask Him for strength and help in this area. Ask him to allow you to enjoy that time with your spouse.