There were many long talks in those early years, and many since. Once in a while we would park at the airport and watch the planes take off. We would sit there for hours and just talk. One of the first conversations we had, even before we were officially dating was about our commitment to "wait" until marriage. It was important to both of us to save our virginity for our future husband or wife. Before having the conversation with Matt, I think that I had had it in my mind that it would be an awkward subject to broach. As I recall, it was so natural, so easy. It was just two people sharing there expectations for the future and what was important to them. Photo: Don't we look like babies? Funny! I totally LOVED my red shoes!
I am so grateful we had that conversation so early on in our friendship. It laid a foundation for our relationship at the onset. The expectations were in the open, and we just didn't have to worry about the other person's expecting something from the other--we drew the line before the line had to be drawn. This is not to say there weren't temptations involved at some point in our relationship, because, after 3 years of dating and spending just about every waking moment with someone, there are bound to be, however, these didn't come until we were well into the 3 1/2 years of dating and knew we would one day get married.
About two years into our dating, there definitely came a point at which another line had to be drawn. We had become more physical and we knew we weren't honoring the Lord. We weren't honoring our own commitment to our future spouses...although we were in love, and thought we might some day get married, we were 100% sure that this relationship is what God wanted for us. Both of us felt that, even if we were supposed to be together, there was a chance we would ruin the relationship (or future relationships) if we chose not to obey Him and His vision for our (hopefully) marriage. We knew that God would bless our commitment to purity, and we were distraught that we had come so close to throwing all of that away...for a few minutes of pleasure. Thankfully, we didn't "really" know what we were missing--or it may not have turned out so well...Ha Ha! Anyway, something had to give. We spent a week "separated" praying and asking God should we still be together.
As coincidence would have it, my dad had surprised Matt with tickets to a weekend Men's conference that next weekend, and we decided that when he came back, we would decide then. We knew God would show us. It was one of the longest weeks of my life. I was heartbroken, and disappointed in myself, but I knew that whatever happened God was in control.
Matt came back from his weekend, and although it wasn't really his "thing", he'd had a moment with God. He shared with me that he had taken his lunch to the top of the stadium, to have some peace and quiet, some time alone (he's kind of like that). He had a conversation with God--or rather God had a conversation with him. It sounds crazy, but this is how it went:
God: "Matt, are you ready to stop walking the fence?"
The Enemy: "No man, you don't want to do that...Don't do it..." etc....
Matt said there was a feeling of chaos and panic in the voice of the enemy....
Matt: "Yes, I'm ready."
God: "Matt, are you ready to be a spiritual leader for Autumn?"
The Enemy: (really panicking now...confusion, chaotic voice) "No Man, she's not the one for you...don't do it...you don't want her" etc...
Matt: "Yes, I'm ready."
Matt recalls he could feel the enemy fleeing in that moment, and felt a sense of peace.
It was hard to believe when he told me this story, It was hard even for him to believe, but God made Himself very clear to Matt that day, it was a life changing experience, for both of us. As we continued to date we knew now that we had a commitment to maintain. That God had a plan for our lives, and He intended to bless our future marriage. It was a HUGE lesson. We prayed that God would give us the strength to maintain our purity until our wedding night.
We've had many conversations with couples who did not do this, for one reason or another, and they admit that they wish they had. They wish they didn't have the baggage that they had brought into the marriage. Of course, God can still bless marriages despite our shortcomings, but we are so grateful that in this area, we chose to obey the Lord. There are many areas in our lives that we've made bad decisions, however, I am so thankful that God protected us from our own selfish desires.
I wish couples, teenagers, anyone--could understand the amount of blessing they could have in their marriages in this area, if they would commit to purity before marriage. Marriage is filled with so many ups and downs and hard work....commitment, patience, compromise etc....
One thing I know for sure, is that I know that choosing to wait until our wedding night, and choosing God's vision for our marriage has heaped multiple blessings on us, and saved us from unnecessary heartache and disappointment.
Posts
4 comments:
Although this was a great post, I can't get past the red shoes...I must have them! So cute, and look how young you were!
I wish I still had those red shoes... :( oh well...they do seem like you though! As I recall, they were really uncomfortable, but I bought them anyway. Ha!
That's awesome. Billy and I set out that expectation before we even dated, too. We'd both already given into sexual temptation and we knew that we needed to be strong against that if we wanted our relationship to work.
(And interestingly, enough... he had a "moment" with God at a men's conference, too. The question he was supposed to answer in his book was "If you knew you couldn't fail what would you do?" He felt like God told him "move to Evansville" where I was. He thought... "that's silly.. I'll write down be a worship pastor." But he couldn't shake the thought, and what do you know? He moved to my town within 6 months. :)
That's the HipMama I knew for years! :)
I am waaaay behind, but I wanted to pop in to say that this is such a great, honest, bold post. wonderful!
Post a Comment