Supa Crazy!

 ***I have finally fixed the "OTHER HIP MAMA"S" Link,

so let me know if you are not on there and want to be!*** 

I've been away, been extremely busy and hoping to get back here.  Alas, my bloggy friends, I hope you'll still be my friends even if I don't post very often, and rarely comment on your blogs ;0) I do try to get to read blogs every now and again, and I need to put some kind of Blog Reader App on my iphone (not even sure if they have one...but they should).  As you know I'm in school, have 4 kids and activities almost every night...so it is SUPA Crazy around here.  I actually have a lot of blog material, but not enough time to sit down and write! I'm not sure I'll ever have much balance in my life.

I'll start with the latest school update, and go from there.  School is going great for the most part.  I had 2 tests last week Philosophy & Psychology.  I got an "A" on the Philosophy test and squeaked by with a "B" on the Psyc. test.  I feel much more at ease with each of the professors, now that I know their testing style.  My Math course has still not started and my Eng. Comp II course is going fine...but honestly, I should be writing a short essay comparing and contrasting two stories right now instead of blogging.  I have a couple more assignments to work on this week...and then I have a quick business/see my mom & grandparents trip this weekend...which will be far too short and I will barely have enough time to visit with family let alone friends...so if you read this, and you live in Florida...sorry...you won't be seeing me.  Hopefully we'll come down again (this time for longer) in the summer.  On a positive note, I am hoping to sell my business out there...and that would relieve a lot of stress for me.  So hoping and praying for that this weekend, as I will be meeting some potential buyers.  I am hopeful.

I hope you all are well...more to come soon...;0)

Distraction & More...

Sooo, Week #2 of School.  I am so easily distracted! I mean the kids are obvious, I know.  But I really need to learn to stop, especially when nap time for Lily is involved and study.  Not Check Facebook, Tweet Deck, and my personal Yahoo Email my school email, discussion board, my daily checklist and calendar, I mean sit down and READ.  This week less time in general has been spent on actual reading, I felt better about what to expect.  I would say I'm still pretty edgy maybe pms? and a bit stressed out with juggling everything, but it made it much less difficult, not having to be committed to a job and/or schedule outside of the home this week. 

<-----------How could I not be distracted by this little cutie?

However, in it's place I had apparently booked myself up with Doctors appointments and the like, that I may as well have had another job... but then  I realized, oh, oh yes, I do have a job: Chauffeur, Chef, Maid (as told to me by Miles this week--he insisted I was a maid--half of me found it downright hilarious, the other was pissed!) nanny, nurse, friend, police, Mom & Household Manager.  I need to make sure not to book so many things in during the day, or I will never get things even half accomplished.  I am still working on finding that groove...and I think I'm starting to see it...not feel it yet, but I'm getting there.

A couple things that have come to me this week though, before I say g'day for now:

• If only I spent the time I have to study for school, studying God's word.  Hmmmm.
• I'm taking Philosophy (Ethics) and the "Rule of Rationality" what we discussed in class seems ridiculous at the moment. ( In light of the fact that I believe that God's Word is truth)
• I read a few stories in English Comp 2: 

• "A Rose For Emily"-William Faulkner (so-so)
  

• "The Things They Carried"-Tim O'Brian (liked)
  

• "Everyday Use" (liked)

• I got a 100% on my Psycology Quiz today (yay me)
• I got a iphone this week (I'm trying to sneak this one in--major distraction--but more about that in another post) I love it!
• I'm doing good on the birthday card thing, and need to give y'all an update on that!
  

Have you met Zeus Yet?  This is another one of our distractions at the Hip House...you gotta have a lil' Hip Dog...or a lot of Hip Dog.

Zeusy as the kids refer to him as, is a lovable hugable Great Dane Distraction...and we love him!

Um, I think I'm getting distracted...again!

Back to School

Today marked the 1st week of my journey back to school after...um, 12 years!?!  I mentioned in an earlier post that I'm hoping to go back for nursing.  I have to admit the first week back was a bit stressful.  The store I have been working part-time for is closing and I worked 2 shifts last week.  Just a little overview of what my week looked like last week:

Monday: Normal Daytime Stuff + Studying + Girl Scouts (cancelled Thank God!) + Work from 6-11pm + Make sure dinner was available + Daddy remembered to take Quinn to dance.

Tuesday: Normal + Study+Ella's Dance + Dinner + Work 6pm-10:30 pm + Study

Wednesday: Normal + Study + Miles's Basketball + Dinner

Thursday: Normal + Early Dinner + Bible Study 7pm-9pm + Kids in Bed late + Study

Friday: Kids 1/2 day + Miles's Dance Class (morning) + 1st Pyscology Quiz (that I didn't realize I actually had until late Thursday night)  Did I mention the kids were home whilst I attempted to take my 1st quiz in over a decade?  Ridiculous.

Needless to say, it was a terribly busy week.  I found myself snapping and quipping at the kids and feeling quite overwhelmed...and all this in the middle of trying to take advantage of my last week of incredible discounts at Pottery Barn--an amazing discount is quite a benefit...but I think this closing is a blessing in disguise, as I don't think it is helping too much in the getting debt free department!

All in all, based on the extra craziness of having to work a bit extra and did I mention late? this past week, having a few more errands and a car snafu this week, I'd have to give myself an "A" for my first week Back to School.

Randomness

I am feeling better about our loss, and keeping my self moving forward, rather than backward or just coasting, as I would usually do in "depressing" situations.  I know that I've had many people thinking and praying for me, and God has been faithful.  He is keeping me motivated to work on some projects around the house and though I am anxious about the school journey, I am excited to officially start on Monday.  The kids have kept me busy and laughing, and I am so thankful for Matt to step in and be as supportive as possible in whatever curve ball I throw him when he walks through the door.

On another note,  I've failed you again with the Love Dare...but I have it on my table to read, and I forgot that our small group is doing this together in the coming weeks...so hopefully I'll have a little more accountability there.  I'm not giving up...I'm committed to finishing it up...so stay tuned.

Something else I've been thinking about are some New Years Resolutions...do you have any?  The big one, was to go back to school, which I'm doing...and hopefully get good grades (That would be #2).   Another big one for me is I'm hoping to remember my friends birthdays this year, very close friends and family with an actual card in the mail and others through email or FB. Maybe you all could give me some suggestions on the system you use to remember birthdays?! What are your solutions for Birthday reminders?  I have an email reminder through Birthday Alarm, FB Hallmark Application, Calendar.  I figure one of these might work for me.  But I'm totally open to suggestions.  Do you write all your Birthday cards at the beginning of the month or the week before?   Do you buy individual cards or make them? Or one of those box sets with lots of different topics?

You never know....

Monday: Well, you never can tell just what life will hold, can you?  Just a few days after posting my upcoming announcement post...Here...where I specifically announced that I was NOT pregnant...I found to my shock and disbelief  Sunday, December 20th that I most certainly WAS pregnant.  Very ironic, no?  On Wednesday, I started spotting and without TMI ...it turned into more. Though I still wasn't certain that I lost the baby. Monday, I had a sonagram which was inconclusive....could've been too early...then I went for blood work to check my levels...but my gut feeling was that we lost the baby.  I took like 3 First Response Tests that say pregnant...and yesterday I took two Answer brand tests that say pregnant (though the line is fainter)2 Walgreens tests that say "negative"...maybe a faint line on one of them...so who knows...my cycle has been super irregular lately...so I wouldn't be sure until the blood tests came back, Tuesday morning...or I'll have to wait and go back and test again.  I know a lot of women experience miscarriage.  Thankfully, up until this point I have not. 

My first reaction to my pregnancy was shock, happy, shock, scared (remember I have 4 already)...shocked again...then acceptance...and happy again...and planning...or rather re-planning...I like to do that...plan.  I like to know what is going on...and God continually reminds me that I need to live more in the moment.  Since Wednesday, I have been wondering what's happening...this isn't what my body experienced with the other children.  So I've had a few days to accept the possibility of a miscarriage...

One surprising thing about this situation, and I believe because people are praying for me, is my peacefulness at the out come.

Tuesday: As I suspected my levels were way down. Only a 9...but after 5 positive maybe more pregnancy tests...a week & a half ago...it should be MUCH MUCH higher.  The doctor is sure I had a miscarriage.  I was fine until I talked to Matt.  Then I broke down.  This has been much harder that I thought it would be.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I wasn't devastated, but I wasn't jumping off the walls with joy and excitement either.  Like I said on Monday, I was shocked, and in utter disbelief.  I would even go so far as to say disappointed.  Maybe that sounds very un-motherly to you, but I am the mother of 4 my youngest being 9 months old...I am about to start school...and while more babies might have been God's plan...it certainly wasn't mine.  HOWEVER, I quickly accepted my circumstances and thanked God for the little one growing inside of me...and sincerely decided to make the best of it.  Reluctant acceptance quickly turned into excitement and happiness...imagining how this little person would fit into our lives...and looking forward to continuing to experience God's provision for our family both financially as well as how I would handle having the strength, patience and grace to raise now 5 children.  I had the picture in my mind that we were no longer a family of 6, but of 7.

 Wednesday: It has amazed me that I can already love and accept  and grieve a child that I wasn't planning...and with all honesty didn't really want in the first place.  Strange, this motherhood.  So I am sad, I am grieving  a child I won't know...thankful to God that this happened sooner than later...and thankful that it wasn't traumatic, as I understand it can be.  I am thankful, this experience didn't come when we were planning our family--it would be a much harder process.  I guess God knows what I can and cannot handle.  This is just another part of my story and so far the lesson for me is...that God's plan is not necessarily my plan...and I need to allow for HIS change in my plans.